Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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