what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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