just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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