Can i not drive my cunt home
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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