I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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