You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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