You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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