they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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