i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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