It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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