Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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