this beer tastes like vomit already
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize