Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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