I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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