the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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