I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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