I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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