everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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