Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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