I've blown a few things in my day
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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