I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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