I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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