Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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