I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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