Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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