you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize