what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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