I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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