Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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