I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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