We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
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I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
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Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
did i just pee glitter
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