I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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