you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize