Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
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I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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