My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize