ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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