butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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