I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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