I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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