Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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