Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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