its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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