You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize