I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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