Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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