just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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