Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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