My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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