it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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