What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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